Your Love Bucket

 I have been contemplating some things I can do to strengthen my marriage and relationship with my husband because, lets face it, relationships can be hard and if you don't work on them, like anything else, they will fade out and die.  That is not something you want to have happen to a relationship you obviously have invested yourself in, or you wouldn't be married, have children with, or whatever the case may be, right?  I have also talked with one of my sisters and a friend very recently who have also been having these thoughts so I figured there may be others too who are sharing these feelings.  I really love Michelle's idea about keeping the notebook throughout the year and writing in all of the reasons they make you laugh or make you happy, but, let's face it, if you only give it to them once a year, there are 364 other days you may not be expressing those feelings and appreciation to them.  So here are some ideas for you to do on a monthly, weekly, or even daily basis to help strengthen your marriage and make things fun again!

1.  Leave little notes for them to find letting them know you appreciate what they are doing for you: working to provide for your family, mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage, washing your car, helping with dishes....whatever they have done to help you.

2.  Put "Conversation Hearts", stick-figure pictures, or other little notes in their lunch letting them know you love them, or giving them something to look forward to when they return home that night!

3.  Try reading the book, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.  This should help you figure out what your spouses "Love Language" is so you can help "fill their Love Bucket".  (Borrow it from the library, most will have a copy of it!)  These are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.  Most people have one or two very apparent ones and if you don't know how to speak in this language, they may not feel your love for them, have a hard time expressing it to you, and make your relationship difficult!

    Here is an example.  My Love Language is very much Physical Touch, but my husbands is Acts of Service and Gifts.  He would much rather have the house clean and dinner started instead of a hug and kiss when he gets home, and I am the opposite.  It took me a really long time to realize this.  I can always tell a big difference when I have the house cleaned up and his attitude than when he comes home to a dirty house and cereal for dinner!

4.  Do something they like to do.  Relationships are about 2 people, not just one, so we need to learn to be unselfish and compromise.  This may be something as small as letting them choose the movie you will watch or which restaurant you will go to.  Try doing something they like for a date every once and a while too.  For instance, my husband really likes to play the Playstation 3 and I am not a big fan, however, I think playing with him for a date would be fun.  Now, I will put limits on it like the shooting games but anything else would be fair game and fun.  Try finding the thing you can do that he likes and you might blow his mind!

5.  A Service A Day.  I have always heard as I was growing up, that you will love those you serve, and if you don't like someone,start finding ways you can do service for them and you will learn to love them.  I have seen this over and over with my all of the people who have become my best friends.  It can be the same way with your spouse!
   We tend to get in ruts with them and just do the same things over and over and it can become feeling like a duty or obligation, when really it is a choice to do nice things for them and serve them.  Try looking for one nice thing, above and beyond what you normally do to give service to them once a day.
  For example, my dad makes my parents bed every morning.  He loves doing it and I think is secretly proud at how good he is at making it.  I think if my mom were to quickly make the bed one morning every once in a while he would notice it as something nice she did for him that day to say thank you for always making the bed.  Now, if she were to do it every day for him, he might start thinking she doesn't think he can do it good enough for her and take offense, so you need to think of something different every day!
  One more example and I will move on.  My husband doesn't really like to mow the lawn and I really don't mind it, but have PLENTY to do inside the house.  Every once in a while, I know he is busy or tired, so I will just spend a little bit of my inside cleaning time to mow the lawn for him.  I figure it is kind of a toss up because he likes the inside cleaned too, but would really rather not be mowing the lawn himself.  Just be creative and have fun.  Don't be offended if they don't notice your service, it is meant to be service, not jobs for pay!

6.  Go on Dates.  Yes!  This is still extremely important!  What did you do before you got married that got you to fall in love with this man?  You were probably going out with him, seeing him out in all different settings and having fun with him.  Dates help you get away from the stresses and pressures that are at home.  Please try to remember to keep work, money, kids, and all other home problems at home.
  Budget for this so it can be a reality.  Dates don't have to be expensive either...sometimes the funnest ones don't cost a thing!  Decide what is financially possible for you, but make it a must.  Do a babysitting swap with a friend who has kids if you need to, to help make it possible to have your date night!
    Here is a link to some dating sites or ideas:
          Stay At Home Date Night
          In House Date Night
          Impress Your Man
          Book Date
          The Dating Divas
          Love Actually

7.    Another book to try.  I would suggest buying it because you rip out the pages and I would doubt the libraries will have copies because of this!  Once you rip them out though, you can always put the his and hers into ziplock bags and do them again later.  The book is called, "101 Nights of Grrrreat Romance," by Laura Corn.  This has 101 different dates to go on.  Every other one is his, then hers.  They range from little to no money, traveling to a destination (dinner) to staying at home, and so on.  Each week (or how ever often you two decide you will date), one will decide which page to rip out and then follow the instructions for that date.    You can modify it a little if you need or like, but all of the instructions and things you will need are right there. It is a lot of fun, especially when you are both participating in the planning.  I know how NOT fun it is to be the only one to plan date, get the baby sitter. . .

8.  Try a NEW nightly ritual.  By this, I mean more than just saying "I Love You", although that is VERY important.  Everyone needs to hear and know this, EVERY day.  Here are 2 examples of what I mean by this and you can come up with your own if you don't like them and/or have something different!
   I was reading one from "The Dating Divas" that was really cute I would like to try myself.  She said every night before they go to bed, they say, "I love you today because. . ." and then proceed to say a reason why.  It could be something they did that very day, something in general, or something that has previously happened that has been on your mind.  Another reader said their version of this is on a small white board.  Every morning, he writes his reason on the board and hangs it on the fridge before going to work so she can see it when she wakes up.  She will then write her reason while he is at work and leave it on his pillow to find that night!  How cute!  I love it!
   My other idea comes from my son.  For the past few years, he and I would take naps together, a lot, because he wouldn't go to sleep well at nap time once he was first sleeping in a big bed.  I was totally okay with that because I LOVE naps!  So, he started turning towards me and asking if I would hold his hand while he fell asleep.  We would just hold right hand to right hand and both fall asleep like that, facing each other.  It was so sweet and I LOVED it.  Then, he went to kindergarten and I was so sad to lose that with him.  I told my husband we needed to start that at night because I just felt like that was such a connection I had with my son, it would be awesome to have with my husband, falling asleep face to face, hands joined every night.  He is not totally sold on it, and we have only done it a couple of times, but I am working on him.

9.  Get them random gifts or treats.  Maybe not everyone likes to be given things, but I really haven't met that person, have you?  You don't have to spend much money at all.  When you grocery shop, just think of their favorite candy bar, gummy treat, or chip, and buy that especially for them.  Buy them a $5.00 movie you think they would like, wrap it up, and just out of the blue give it to them or leave it under their pillow to let them know you are thinking of them.
  My husband apparently likes rye bread.  I didn't know this until last year when I heard him telling one of our friends, so I have been making it a point to buy a loaf of rye bread to send with him for his sandwiches in his lunches.  No one else gets the bread, I just keep it in the freezer and only pull out the slices I need for that day.  He also likes gummy bears, so I just bought him like 2 pounds of it yesterday so I could surprise him with them and send some in his lunch as well.  Maybe it won't mean a thing to him, but maybe it will make his day!

10.  Do things for him you want him to do for you.  I am not talking about manipulating him!  I am saying this.  A while ago, I was feeling down because I hadn't heard I looked nice, or thank you, or whatever else you start feeling when you are down, and then it dawned on me that I hadn't told my husband he looked nice in a long time either.  I hadn't told him thank you for going to work every day for us, or thank you for providing food and a home for us.  I hadn't been being as kind and caring as I was wanting him to be being either.  It really made me start thinking about the things I was saying and doing too.  I can't expect him to be full of compliments and thank you's when all I am doing is complaining and nagging, right?
   If you want him to be opening doors for you, try opening his door for him when you are inside the car.  Offer complements and gratitude daily.  Be respectful and kind.  As the golden rule states, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!"

Hope this helps brings some spark back into your relationship!

~Stacy~

Valentine's Day Date Ideas

Here is what I am planning on doing this year for our Valentine's date. I love romantic date nights and am so excited it's my year to plan. I'm just going to cook a romantic, candle-lit dinner at home and then build a fort and cuddle and watch a good chick flick after dinner. I don't watch many chick flicks with the hubster, in fact I'd say I watch about 30 NBA games for every 1 chick flick we watch together, so I love to watch them every chance I get. So of course it's definitely gonna be all my choice, no matter how cheesy and romantic! :) I'm trying to decide which hunk I wanna see in my movie...

They are of course Cary Grant and Channing Tatum. Both great choices, but I have a feeling I'm gonna go with good ol' Channing in Dear John. Then we continue on to the next portion of our evening. I'm not gonna lie, I LOVE to kiss my husband. A lot. Who doesn't?! So I came across this book on Amazon and plan to try a couple of these new kisses out together that night. Why not?? :) It's probably too late to order for yourself, but you could always check your library or Barnes and Noble or something.

And finally, if I have time to find a couple of chinese lanterns, I would love to write love notes to each other and send them up into the sky. How romantic. I love it!

Well, these are just a couple ideas I have and I think it sounds like a splendid evening! I hope you all have a fantastic Valentine's Day whether you are celebrating it with a spouse, boyfriend, your kids, or your girlfriends, HAVE FUN!!! :)

 Mary

Scavenger Hunt Date

Day 13:

  A couple of years ago, I had this really fun idea to do for my husband.  I honestly can't remember if it was a Valentines Day surprise or just a fun date idea, but I figured it would be a great Valentines Day idea.  I basically sent him on a scavenger hunt doing nice things that eventually led him back to me where we had a nice, romantic dinner.  My mother-in-law was sweet enough to watch the kids for us so it could just be us in the end. 

  What I did was prearrange things in our area for him to go and do 2-3 hours before our official date started.  I started out with a note on the door in an envelope labeled, "Clue #1".  Inside it, I had just the address or street directions to the first place I arranged, a haircut.  I had already gone in and paid for his haircut and the tip.  I had arranged with the hairstylist to hand him the 2nd clue at the end of the haircut that again only gave him the directions to the next place.  This was a 30 minute massage.  We had Aveda schools in our area and the students had to get their practice massages in and it was very inexpensive.  They did a great job too!  Again, I had prepaid the massage and tip and had it arranged for the masseuse to give him the next clue.  I don't remember now what my 3rd clue was, sorry, but I believe I sent him to a favorite store where I had picked something out for him and had it wrapped up front.  The 4th and final clue was on the box of the gift.  That was leading him back to our house where I had a candlelight dinner and romantic night planned for us.  You can spend as much or as little as you want on this too.  If you have more money and it's not a problem, give him an hour long massage or add in a facial or pedicure/manicure, add a shave with the haircut.  Just be creative and you'll both have fun.

   I of course made sure I wasn't home when he got the first clue, but then made sure to be back pretty quickly so I could get dinner and the house ready for him to come home.  I would only have 3 hours, tops to get that part done.  If you do not want to supply the dinner part of it, for the last clue, you could put your favorite restaurant as the last clue and be there waiting at a table when he (she) arrives.  This one was really fun and my husband really liked it.  He had no idea what was going on but figured it out once he arrived at the first place and told the receptionist about the clue he had.  All of the places I arranged these at were very easy to work with and all thought it was a really neat idea.  They were all happy to help with it.

Linguine with Shrimp Scampi and Chocolate Mousse

Day 6:

Linguine with Shrimp Scampi

• 1 tablespoon kosher salt plus 1 1/2 teaspoons
• 3/4 pound linguine
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 2 1/2 tablespoons good olive oil
• 1 1/2 tablespoons minced garlic (4 cloves)
• 1 pound large shrimp (about 16 shrimp), peeled and deveined
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1/3 cup chopped fresh parsley leaves
• 1/2 lemon, zest grated
• 1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (2 lemons)
• 1/4 lemon, thinly sliced in half-rounds
• 1/8 teaspoon hot red pepper flakes

Drizzle some oil in a large pot of boiling salted water, add 1 tablespoon of salt and the linguine, and cook for 7 to 10 minutes, or according to the directions on the package.

Meanwhile, in another large (12-inch), heavy-bottomed pan, melt the butter and olive oil over medium-low heat. Add the garlic. Saute for 1 minute. Be careful, the garlic burns easily! Add the shrimp, 1 1/2 teaspoons of salt, and the pepper and saute until the shrimp have just turned pink, about 5 minutes, stirring often. Remove from the heat, add the parsley, lemon zest, lemon juice, lemon slices, and red pepper flakes. Toss to combine.

When the pasta is done, drain the cooked linguine and then put it back in the pot. Immediately add the shrimp and sauce, toss well, and serve.

Recipe found at foodnetwork.com

I don't always have lemons to do the slices, and it is still really good, but it is better with the lemons, they just add such a nice flavor to the shrimp

Cheddar Bay Biscuits

2 C. Bisquik 

6 Tbsp. butter

2/3 C. Milk

1/2 C. shredded Cheddar cheese

1/2 tsp. garlic powder

1/2 tsp. old bay

1/2 tsp. parsley flakes

Preheat oven to 450.

In a mixing bowl combine Bisquik, 4 Tbsp. butter, milk and cheese using a pastry cutter of fork.  Spoon into baking sheet.  Bake 8-10 minutes.

While they are baking combine 2 tbsp. melted butter, garlic powder, old bay and parsley flakes.  Brush over biscuits when they come out of oven.

Roasted Asparagus

• 1 pound fresh asparagus
• Extra Virgin olive oil
• Kosher salt, plus extra for sprinkling
• Freshly ground black pepper.
• 
  
• Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
• I always cut off the 1"-1 1/2" of the root end, it is a bit touch and woody tasting. Place the asparagus on a baking sheet, drizzle with olive oil, then toss to coat the asparagus completely. Spread the asparagus in a single layer and sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper. Roast the asparagus for 25 minutes, until tender but still crisp.

Easy Chocolate Mousse

from: Our Best Bites

1 tsp. unflavored gelatin

1 Tbsp cold water

2 Tbsp. boiling water (just heat in a small bowl in your microwave)

1/2 C. sugar

1/4 C. unsweetened cocoa powder

1 C. whipping cream

1 tsp. vanilla

In a small bowl, combine gelatin and cold water and allow to stand for about 1 minute.  While gelatin is softening bring 2 Tbsp. water to boil in the microwave.  whisk into the softened gelatin and allow to cool slightly.  

In a medium mixing bowl combine sugar, cocoa, whipping cream, and vanilla.  Beat with an electric mixer until medium-stiff peaks form.  Mix in gelatin and refrigerate for 30 minutes.  

I put mine in pretty wine glasses and then refrigerate for 30 minutes.  Add whipped topping and fruit right before you serve.

This is a very rich mousse.  My husband and I never finish in one setting, so really,  in just a few minutes you made dessert for two nights.  :)

~Rachel~

Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5

The Best Husband Valentines Day Present

Day 3:
A couple of years ago we were really poor, so when Valentines day came around we decided to do homemade presents for each other. I'm always horrible with coming up with things...but I was determined to come up with the Best. Present. Ever. And I think I did a pretty good job! My hubby L.O.V.E.D it...our very own board game!

You can do it one of both ways, when I first saw it it was on a sheet, I've tried both and I like the board game better. But do whatever you think would be fun for you.

For the sheet you get a fitted sheet...just find the cheapest one you can get. You'll need masking tape, a permanent marker and cardboard (from a cereal box would work perfect). At the top of the sheet I believe I named it "The Game of Love" and underlined it, and then used the masking tape to evenly mark the lines. My game board was 7 across, 7 down so I had 49 total. After you "draw" your lines, you'll cut out whatever shape you are using out of your card board, this is a horrible drawing but I used something like this:

You'll trace that on your rows...49 times and then go back and fill in your game plans. You'll want to use the majority of your sheet. I think I had about a foot at the bottom left, and maybe 6" on each side. Each shape was about 4", but measure what fits your bed best. I used each "activity" at least twice so you make sure to land on it at least once. And you can say it different ways to change it up, for instance "XOXO" and "Kiss Me Baby". You can be creative and come up with ever you want and whatever you feel comfortable about. I had to edit mine a little and blot some of mine out so we can keep it G rated here, and because our Mom reads our blog. :) 

The sheet is fun because you'll cover it up by making your bed so your hubby will have no idea. And it's good for in the future to too surprise him random nights.

When we moved I just threw away the sheet and decided to get a $3 board game at the D.I. and I'm really glad I did. Now it's our inside joke that no body has any idea what we're talking about...besides you now that are reading this. But there's been a few times that we are out to dinner or out and about and will say "Soooo do you want to play Chutes and Ladders when we get home??"

How to Play:

You'll just need 1 dice, they will roll it every time, if it's a 4 or 6 divide by 2, and if it lands on 5 I let him pick between the 2nd or 3rd one.

They have 30 seconds for each activity, no exceptions. :) You can have a stopwatch or just count, whatever you'd like to do.

That's pretty much it, it's fun and your husband will love you even more forever and ever! He will think this is the best present you could ever give him!

**I have everything out and ready sitting on the table. I've made some chocolate covered strawberries, since we don't drink alcohol for our "bubbly" I used sparkling cider or wild cherry pepsi. I get a couple little silly presents like candy or something and had them wrapped up for him to open if he landed on a present. And for the music I just used Pandora and the station I like is Ashanti because a lot of the songs it plays is circa my high schools years, so it's a fun flash back and it's kind of sexy music. But like I said...do whatever makes you happy!! And have fun!!!

--Michelle--

Day 1, Day 2, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6

Star Jones' Garlic Lobster Tails plus Stacy's Steak for Valentines Dinner!!

Day 2:
  Last year for Valentines Day, I honestly can't remember why we did not got out to dinner like we usually do.  I don't think I particularly wanted to cook dinner for my husband and I because we so rarely go out to dinner, I really enjoy it.  He may have actually had to be out of town or something.  Regardless the reason, I cooked our Valentines dinner and I wanted it to be good.  I do not like seafood, but he does.  I RARELY ever make anything with seafood because I dispise it so much, but I thought for this dinner I was going to spoil him with lobster!
  My favorite grocery store, Publix, actually had a decent price on lobster tails that week (probably for suckers like me ;) so I went ahead and bought like 4.  I found a recipe on www.foodnetwork.com that looked really good and had lots of stars and lots of reviews and gave it a shot.  I paired it with the best looking steak I could find and a great salad and my husband and I really enjoyed it.  I actually thought it was the best steak I had ever made and I haven't been able to repeat it since then!  We had sparkling cider since we are non-alcoholic drinkers, and topped it off with my husbands favorite, cheesecake!  It was delicious.

  Here is what I did. . .Star Jone's Garlic Lobster Tails

Ingredients

• 4 large lobster tails (8 ounces each)
• 4 to 6 large cloves garlic, minced
• 6 tablespoons butter, cut into bits
• 1 lemon, juiced
• 1/2 teaspoon Cajun spice
• 1/2 teaspoon seafood seasoning, such as Seafood Magic

Directions

Preheat broiler. With kitchen shears or large, sharp knife, cut lobster tails down back on curved side of shell. Pry sides of shells apart to expose meat. Top meat with garlic and butter. Squeeze lemon juice over lobster meat and dust liberally with Cajun spice and seafood seasoning. Preheat broiler. Set lobster tails in roasting pan and broil 4 to 6 inches from heat for 12 to 15 minutes, until meat is opaque in center.

This is rated easy and serves 4.

For the steak, I rubbed it with a steak dust and let it sit in that for 30 minutes or so.  Then, just as I was putting the lobster in, I put the steak on the grill with about 1/2 tbsp butter on top.  My husband likes his medium rare and I like mine well done so I put mine on first.  Once one side was cooked, I turned it over and added his.  I definately had to cook it a little longer than normal because they were so much thicker than I regularly buy, but it was worth it!!!  It was literally, melt in your mouth, delicious!

For dessert I made my husbands favorite cheesecake...from a box!  Jello brand cheesecake is his favorite.  And it is Valentine's Day, I can't deny him his favorite!  :)

-Stacy-

Day 1, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6

P.S. Don't forget to check out our Shops "Item of the Week"!

In-house Date Night

The hubby and I like to have a date night every week (mostly me.  I like to have a date night every week!) But this can get to be very expensive paying for whatever activity we decide to do, plus a babysitter on top of that, it is just not do-able.  So we have a lot of in-house dates.  They are a lot of fun.  At least we really enjoy them.  I thought that I would share a date that we had last week.  

I feed the kids and had them get into their "movie clothes" aka... pj's, and then we started a movie for them downstairs.  I put our dinner in the oven and while it was baking I got myself all ready for our date.  I always try to look my best for our dates even if we are just going to snuggle and watch a movie.  I think it helps the hubby know that I care and makes me feel good.  At 7 dinner was ready.

I like to make a nice "romantic" dinner for us to eat by candlelight (even though when we ate this time it was still light outside).  I made this chicken lasagna that I found on pinterest, and a caesar salad (which I crave with every pregnancy), breadsticks, and sparlking cider, then we had an easy chocolate mousse, delish! (I just used the mousse part and not the cake)

Then we snuggled on the couch until the kids movie finished and we put them to bed.  Then the fun began.  I had bought cheap Nerf guns at the dollar store and we had a war!  And it was a blast.  We literally ran around in the house hiding in different spots and sneaking out to shoot each other.  (My 7 year old said she couldn't sleep because she kept hearing us running across the floor)  But seriously, it was so much fun.  We had to take a couple of breaks to find bullets, but we kept playing for over an hour.  You can be a little creative with this game adding a little fun (everytime you reload your guns you meet in the middle for a kiss, or mini make-out session, or for every 5 times you are hit you have to remove an article of clothing, just be creative)

When it got dark enough we took a blanket outside and laid out and looked at the stars.  Seriously, this was one of the most fun at-home dates we have had.  Sometimes you just have to think outside the box a little.

~Rachel~

Date Night!

Want a super fun date night idea?? Find a shooting range by you...I was a little nervous to go but we both had a BLAST! You can impress your man with how good you are with a gun! :) 

Date Night

So I found an amazing blog that has tons of fun dates on a budget on Pinterest (LOVE Pinterest) it's http://loveactually-blog-ideas.blogspot.com/ So I decided to try one of them and we had a BLAST! We did the bookstore date night. And here's how it went...we went to Barnes and Noble and we had a list of books to find. You can split up or look together. Find your books and then find a little nook in the store to share your findings. I had two sets of book lists for us the first set was:

#1 find a recipe to cook for your date

A: Peachy Dream Tarts (peaches are my absolute FAVORITE!)

M: Flaming Weenies (it was from a hillrious redneck cookbook)

 #2 Find a book that reminds you of your childhood
A: Walter the Farting Dog
M: Corduroy
If you'd like you can read them to each other also :)

 #3 Find a funny joke to tell your date
We told more that one, and it was fun, we just sat and laughed for a while

Then we got our 2nd list of books, split up and did it all over again.

#1 Find a new date idea to do on a future date night

A: Go to a concert

M: Play pool (I found a cool book that had a tiny pool set you could play on the cover)

#2 Find a quiz to take together
We went to the magazine section and looked FOREVER..but found nothing, which is odd because you always see quizes in magazines...so we moved on.

#3 Find a map or book of your DREAM vacation
A: Wonders of the World (he's already been to 3...lucky!)
M: I have so many I couldn't find something on Bora Bora, so I narrowed it down to Africa, Thailand &Italy

The great thing about Barnes and Noble is they have a Starbucks in it..so you can get yourself a delicious Strawberry Frappuccino & have dessert and you read your books. We would recommend a bookstore date night!

Michelle